My fiancé and I are getting married in less than a month. Normally, we mess around a little before we go to bed, but lately he started bringing sex toys (nipple clamps) into the mix. I’m a virgin and he’s not, so this kind of thing bothers me a bit. I’m not a prude, but at the same time I’m just not ready to do certain things when we haven’t even had sex yet. Maybe once we do, I’ll feel comfortable enough to experiment, but right now I’m not. I’m starting to think there’s another sexual side to him that I don’t know about. How do I handle this before I say, “I do?
I’m pretty sure your fiancé slipped up with his buddies and told them that you’re a Big V. They’ve probably scared the heck out of him, and now he’s getting cold feet.
A single man’s biggest fear is that the woman he marries will stop having sex with him.
You sound like you’re an everything-but virgin, so obviously you should know whether you guys are sexually compatible. Marriage isn’t all about sex, however, it’s a crucial component.
My friend’s mother once told me that sex is therapy to a marriage. Sex can tell you whether your partner has had a bad day, if your partner is holding something back, and if something’s wrong. Sex is the bond between two people, and it’s its own language.
If you tell your partner “no,” this breaks your bond and your partner feels rejected. I realize that you guys haven’t had sex yet, but this same rule applies to you. I understand that some sexual things are deal breakers, but nipple clamps are harmless for the most part.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is: DON’T SAY NO TO THE NIPPLE CLAMPS!
Men only hear the word “NO” and thus, you’ll be confirming his worst fear, that he’s marrying a prude.
Try The Modern Golden Rule: Give them a try first. Then tell him how much you enjoyed them and now you want to spread the pleasure. Take that clamp and attach it to his nipple. He’ll wish he never bought them.
Guys respond more to actions than words and explanations. Once he feels the pain his S&M adventures will come to an abrupt stop. If not, bring out the ball gag and whip.
Luck & Love,