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Ask Toni: The Modern Sex Pre-Nup


Can you help us married men for a change?  My wife and I just celebrated our first anniversary.  When we were dating, we had sex everyday, and now that we’re married, we might have it twice a week if we’re lucky.  What happens to sex when couples get married, and how can we bring it back?

Sexless Stan 


Premarital sex vs. marital sex is the age-old debate. 

Most men’s biggest fear about getting married is that their wife will stop having sex with them.  In my opinion, this fear has lead to an increase in the amount of career-bachelors prowling the modern dating world, and the reason behind so many divorces in this country.

I think most men would agree that they prefer quantity over quality, whereas women are all about the quality.  Men are always in the mood, or at least their desire is piqued fairly easily.  Women need emotional lube. 

Dirty clothes on the floor, trashcans filled to the rim, and crusty dishes in the sink, can set a woman off, and the first way they retaliate is by denying their husbands in the bedroom.  A denied man isn’t a happy man.  This unhappiness can turn into resentment and worse case scenario, cheating.

I propose the Modern Sex Prenup for couples about to get married or already married and having problems with their sex life. 

All Texans know that a prenup protects property during a marriage or in the event of a divorce.  So why not protect the sex? 

The Modern Sex Prenup ensures that the husband’s physical needs and the wife’s emotional needs are both met.

Your wife’s Sex Prenup would look a little like this:

I wife           agree to perform my wifely duties of having sex at least five times a week, _____________, and ______________, as long as husband        performs his husbandly duties of emptying the trash, ________________, and _______________.  And in the event that one of us doesn’t perform our duties, we have to make it up to each other by _______________, _____________________, or _________________.

Times have changed, both spouses are working, and there aren’t enough hours in the day to get things done.  Each person needs to make a conscious effort and put the other person first.  Sex can either bond or break a marriage.  It takes two for both to work properly.  

Luck & Love,


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