The Modern Career Bachelor


I’ve been dating a 43 year-old guy for ten months, but I feel like our relationship is stuck in limbo.  The entire reason why I’m dating a guy thirteen years older is because I thought he’d be more mature and more inclined to settle down.  He’s never been married before nor does he have any children.  So when we first started seeing each other, I laid my cards out on the table to be clear about what I was looking for.  He said he wanted the same, but now I’m not so sure he meant it. Thoughts?

Waitie Katie 


Congratulations you’ve spotted the once elusive Career Bachelor.  After much protection from women that didn’t mind putting up with crap, the CB is no longer on the endangered species list. 

Warning to all women: Career Bachelors don’t have to be in their 40’s and 50’s, there are plenty of junior Career Bachelors in their 20’s and 30’s that are roaming local watering holes. 

There are two types of Career Bachelors.  The first one is the Noncommittal Career Bachelor (aka George Clooney).  He doesn’t hide the fact that he’s NOT interested in getting married or having children.  However, any girl that thinks she can tame this beast is in for a world of hurt.  The second one is the Romantic Career Bachelor (aka Lenny Kravitz).  He might have been married once before, but more than likely not.  Though he has a history of failed relationships (none of which he takes the blame for), he claims that he’s looking for love.  After decades of close encounters, the RCB still can’t make it down the aisle. 

To find out if you’re dating the RCB, pay close attention to his relationship history.  A couple of bad relationships in his past are understandable, but if all his exes hate him, there’s probably a good reason for it.  The RCB usually starts off hot and heavy, talking about marriage, and dropping “I Love You’s” after a few weeks of dating.  In the beginning he’s very attentive, but around the six-month mark, he does a flip.  Suddenly, he feels the two of you are spending too much time together, and he needs to make more time for his friends.  “Maybe I’m not the marrying type” or “Maybe I’m too old for children” start creeping in and replacing the “I Love You’s.”  The newness has worn off, and he needs another woman to prey on.  Then this drawn-out process repeats itself.

The Top 5 Dallas Locations For Career Bachelors:

5.  Ocean Prime

4.  The Ritz

3.  Nick & Sam’s

2.  Javier’s Cigar Bar

1.  Al Biernet’s

 Note: these bars are within a five-mile radius.  Career Bachelors frequent the same places and often travel in packs.  Listen to the word on the street.  The nickname Douchebag isn’t a term of endearment, unless you’re his mother. 

 Luck & Love,



Filed under Ask Toni, Uptown

6 responses to “The Modern Career Bachelor

  1. Anon

    I’m in my mid-twenties, and perhaps barely qualify as a career bachelor. I feel I’ve finally gained the perspective to realize the consequences of my judgment. Unfortunately, this perspective is coming due to my significant other ending things, and I am trying to convince her that I have come around, and am ready to make the special thing we have work. Advice?

  2. Anon

    Wait, just to be clear, when you say “career bachelor,” are you referring to someone who is inclined to be a bachelor for life just due to the way he is, or someone who is a bachelor due to being focused on his career? If it’s the former, my previous comment does not apply to me to quite the extent I suggested.

    • Toni

      Anon–just being young and focused on your career doesn’t make you a CB, just makes you ambitious. I get the feeling you’re a good guy that was concentrating more on work than your relationship. Things always seem clearer in hindsight. My advice is to show her–not tell her.
      Luck & Love

      • Anon

        I want very much to show her. But it seems she is unwilling to let me.

        Focus on career, working through inner conflicts about how satisfied I was, and other things unrelated to the post above…
        But yes, now, things are indeed clearer in hindsight, sadly.

  3. I’d rather read something funny for breakfast than eat my oatmeal. Thank you, this was great.

  4. Toni

    Anon-Thanks for reading. I’m going to be addressing your issue in the next couple of weeks. I received an email from another guy wondering how to get his ex back too. Keep your chin up.

    Amy S-Thanks for reading. Hope you continue each week!!!

    Luck & Love

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