Assimilation: A Dallas Pub Crawl Story

by Jayne M. Chobot

There was a pub crawl, and there was a birthday boy and there was a street called McKinney in a neighborhood called Uptown. It was the end of the world… and I was dancing with Sally Bowles and we were both asleep…

To the two people who got that reference: Facebook me because we will be the best of friends. Translation: I wore my new cowboy boots, spent most of the day drinking domestic beer, I rode a mechanical bull, and we ended up… well, you guess.

What more is there to say, really? For all participants it was a blast. For a new Texan it was quite the experience. That I wasn’t bundled in three layers with snow boots spending my Saturday afternoon at a Laundromat in Queens was a plus.     

The debauchery began at a nice corner table in Sfuzzi. I wanted to like this place but the service made it difficult. (And I am very forgiving when it comes to restaurant service.) But no matter; we eventually got up and got our own menus, thank you very much. But a round of bellinis and charcuterie made everything all better, and with each new friend that joined us the convivial atmosphere increased exponentially. Then off we went to Blackfriar Pub, where we sat outside in the beer garden below a suit of armor that I can only assume has a fascinating rock and roll history, and heaters for when the sun dipped behind a cloud.

Another round of beers and party favors were distributed, and then it was decided that we would take a short detour to the Trophy Room for a mechanical bull ride.

I don’t have the words to describe my initial reaction to this. But, when in Texas, right? Determining that we were entirely too sober for this, shots were ordered to help numb the pain of embarrassment. It didn’t work. But still, I add it to the list of things I’d never done, never thought I would ever do, and now have done since moving to Dallas. The operator was very easy on me (not so much on our friend) and the photos are priceless. No, you can’t see one.

At this point we were enjoying the weather and the libations and slowly took the party further up McKinney to Primos, where more friends and new friends had reserved a large table for us. Although still nursing a tequila hangover from two nights prior, I followed the crowd and got me a margarita before calling up Union Bear in West Village to make sure they could accommodate our rowdy bunch next. They urged us to come over quickly, and it’s a good thing they did too, because shortly after we were seated in the downstairs of this fantastic gastropub with a Brooklyn feel, the whole place filled up and we were being glared at by other patrons who wanted our fabulous seats. This of course is a good sign for a place that I really want to see succeed, and I was proud to bring a whole crew of people who had never been there. And they loved it. From the decor to the service to the food and the beer list, this place is a win all around and one of my favorite haunts so far in Dallas.

But sadly the crawl was coming to the end and any remaining levels of sobriety were questionable at best, and we proceeded close to schedule to the inevitable last location. For those of you who guessed The Loon, you win a ridiculously strong drink, fuzzy memories, and a hangover. The Loon, I have mentioned before, wins my “Club Deuce Award”, in honor of the dive bar in South Beach, Miami, that I often ended up drinking at after a night of debauchery elsewhere. There are pool tables, a jukebox, minimal decor, low lighting, a lot of liquor and a questionable clientele, all the things that make a neighborhood dive bar great. And after a day a drinking, the low lighting was appreciated.

So I made it through another day of firsts, and had a hell of a lot of fun doing it. McKinney Avenue offers some wonderful venues and we even had to skip a few to keep to our rather ambitious schedule. Once again I was blessed with a really great group of people and a gorgeous day, so what could there possibly be to complain about? Besides the Texas-sized hangover of course.

Jayne is new to Dallas and discovering the city with a voracious appetite. Read more of her discoveries at her website, A Moveable Appetency.