The Moose Report: An Opportunity To Eat Plenty Of Danks On 4/20

dank by Alex “Moose” Perez

We have asked Moose Perez to join our elite fleet of craveDFW contributers. The Moose is a professional competitive eater who has downed plenty of wings, pizzas, and hot dogs, to mention a few items. Follow along a he sends us periodical reports on local and national competitions, plus an occasional article on his favorite restaurants. If you would like to create a competition at your business, contact the Moose at craveDFW.

My first question when I first heard of this local food competition was “what in the heck is a DANK?” Upon reading about what it was all about, I knew this was something I wanted to share with our readers, and possible future eaters. Of course, I was deeply saddened knowing that under my contract restrictions, I would not be able to compete, but why not inform others of this feat.

Let the epic competition begin. Kung Fu Saloon will be hosting its 1st annual International Dank Eating Championship. The event goes like this: there will be two qualifiers on April 5th & 12th at 3pm, both on Saturday. There will be 15 contestants split into two groups, and out of the two groups two top eaters from each will go head to head with the other top four from their respective qualifying day.

The top eight eaters will confront one another at the actual Dank Championship to be held Sunday, April 20th at 4pm at Kung Fu Saloon. These fiery competitors will have 10 minutes to hog down as many Danks as possible in the most violent and horrifying manner.

You ask, “what is a Dank, Moose?”

A Dank is an amazing, mind-boggling sandwich consisting of two jalapeno-cheese beef patties drizzled with bacon and crispy onions,and a fried onion ring sandwiched between two grilled cheese sandwiches. Does that just not make your mouth drip with wetness? The Danks are close to being a foot tall, which is about the size of my shoe.

Prizes for the champion will include a retro table-top arcade game and a key chain for 24/7 Happy Hour prices.

You can bet The Moose will be on hand to witness this gnarly competition on all three days. Come out if you can to witness some of Dallas’ finest attempt to take the Dank down. I may just have to try one, or six if I’m in the mood to demo.

Want to sign up to gorge on plenty of Danks on 4/20? Then go to the Kung Fun Saloon website.