Ask Tammy Manners Goes To Mia’s Tex Mex

Tammy –

I like Mexican food and I am a 40 year old single man. Some say I am a bit eccentric. My friends in the town where I live are always trying to take me to eat Mexican food in Highland Park Village to introduce me to society ladies. I enjoy the company of my friends, working out, shooting hoops and playing with the boys. What should I do or say to my girlfriends that are always trying to set me up?     

Dear Friend –

I enjoy the company of my male companions, working out in something form fitting and tight, shooting hoops and playing with my boys.

I am sensing a little uncertainty in your question and frankly I don’t think a marriage would be a good fit for you right now. Your friends may have an ulterior motive.

This town of which you speak, “Highland Park Village,” seems a little tricky to me. The whole scenario smacks of intrigue and arrière-pensée. Double lives and double entendre.

You seem a little tricky and unsure to me and you have the right to live your life the way you want to live it. My readers are savvy and can smell what is going on like the Fajita’s at Mia’s Tex Mex on Lemmon Ave. in Dallas, Texas. I could cut to the chase, but why deprive my readers a little fun.

I was at Mia’s Tex-Mex recently. This is the real deal not to be confused with a fancy kitchen at Highland Park Village; the breeding ground for the up and coming, celebrity look a likes and Mexican food restaurant knock offs. I am warning you people to leave Mama and her recipes alone. She and her husband worked tirelessly and it is my understanding that a former maître d’hôtel, which is French for the person who is responsible for “front of the house” of a formal restaurant.

The responsibilities of a maître d’hôtel generally include supervising the wait staff, welcoming guests and assigning them to tables, taking reservations and ensuring that guests are satisfied. I would be a great maître d’hôtel ensuring that all of my guests were satisfied, but a woman of my age, if any woman gets to be my age, would be considered a “Madame,” if she were unmarried or a widow such as myself.

There is no word in Spanish for “front of the house attendant,” except perhaps, “frente a la asistente de la casa.” I no longer trade at that restaurant owned by the former maître d’hôtel, as I was there once enjoying an enchilada special that tasted vaguely familiar to something I would get at Mia’s Tex-Mex” and there was a lot of angry anti-gay talk at the table next to us. I detest bullying. I heard a society matron say, “He reached into his Gucci handbag and pulled out a back comb to rat my hair up high. I don’t like hairdressers that have a handbag bigger than mine.” I brought this to the proprietors attention,

“Mama wouldn’t put up with this!”

“Either go to Mama Mia’s or let me move you to another table.” I kept my mouth shut and went back and tattled to Mama the next night. Just like any good citizen would do.

“When you are good to Mama, Mama is good to you.”

She gave me a homemade Praline and a kiss on the forehead and said, “There, there Miss Tammy Manners. You are a good girl.” And I am.

So, when I go to Mia’s Tex-Mex kitchen I like to have a Dr. Pepper to start off with. A small bowl of cheese dip with salsa, guacamole and sour cream with chips. I usually order some sort of Enchilada plate or Nacho’s and I am very satisfied. I give the food at Mia’s Tex-Mex kitchen Five Stars, even though I detest the whole idea of valet parking for Mexican food. If I wanted to be high brow I would go to Highland Park Village to a kitchen to see and be seen. I don’t like pretenders or anything phony and that includes over processed hair or cheese. I like the real deal. Mia’s Tex-Mex.

I was eating with my friends Frau Farpookie (her real name I swear) who is German and Chocolate (not her real name as she owns a restaurant as well and insists on protecting her identity) who’s hair is very kinky and wooly. Chocolate is a little classless and she and the Frau drink a bit too much. Usually, Chocolate gets her feelings hurt as her social skills are not as good as Frau Farpookie’s and she often storms off from the table and walks home. She lives in a high rise not too far from Mia’s Tex-Mex. It’s a safe neighborhood so don’t worry about her. This one evening she did not get her feelings hurt and stayed the course of the meal.

The German housewife and the ghetto princess start flirting shamelessly with this gentlemen at the table next to ours who was insistent upon his desire to remain single, play ball, work out, and play with the boys. Frustrated they turned to me. “Tammy do something, we must have this man!”

I turned to this gorgeous god already knowing the answer to this question and to protect him and keep our conversation confidential in a Mexican speaking restaurant, I spoke in high Castillian proper Spanish so no one would understand, “¿Juega con los chicos?

Sí, ¿cómo lo sabes? he replied.

To which Mama now looks around and shakes her head, “Tsk, tsk, hay que ir de nuevo Tammy.”

“¿Qué haces para ganarte la vida?” I inquired.

“Yo soy un agente de bienes raíces” Translated – “Do you play with the boys?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Tsk, tsk, there you go again Tammy.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“I am a realtor.”

“Girls, this boy is interested in one thing and one thing only. Showing you a home. Time to move on.”

You need only search your own soul to make choices that are authentic like the bona fide Mexican food you get at Mia’s Tex-Mex on Lemmon Ave. I wouldn’t make decisions based on fear, peer pressure and anxiety because of the interference you are getting from your ‘girlfriends,’ at a Mexican food kitchen, in the town of “Highland Park Village.” Be real, genuine and yourself like Mia’s Tex-Mex on Lemmon Ave. Tell Mama, “Ask Tammy Manners sent me,” and try the praline. Yummy for your tummy.

Why pay more for your friends or your Mexican food when all of life’s simple pleasures go back to the source and everything starts with “Mama Mia.”

Tammy –


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