It’s July, I live in Texas, and it’s hot. And I don’t mean ‘let’s throw the frisbee on the beach’ hot or ‘picking apples in Washington State and having so much fun’ hot. I mean dumb hot, like ‘I walked to my car and I am already sweating’ hot.
I heard someone refer to it as ‘hotter than a pair of sweat pants full of barbecue sauce.’ And although this makes absolutely no sense at all, it makes sense in Texas especially with the random bbq mention.
In summary, this time of year in Texas, it’s hot as hell. Now, imagine you’ve been taken to a fake island that is just as hot, but your somewhat evil captors are forcing you to drink a single type of beer. With it being so ridiculously hot and all, what could possibly be refreshing enough?
The crazy, fake bunch of hoodlums that held me captive for a week, forcing me to slam Oskar Blues GUBNA like I was in Cancun for Spring Break are back and they want me to pick a beer for the hot Texas summer.
Being born and reared in Texas, trust me when I tell you, it can get pretty hot. Sometimes, I feel like I am literally cooking in my own sweat; I am the primary ingredient in a veritable Jeff au jus. They don’t call it the panhandle simply because it looks kind of like a pan-handle. Ok, maybe they do, but you get my point: it’s freaking hot. And how do you beat the heat? With a beer that loves hot weather just as much as us, Texans (I am saying that last part with a good ol’ Texas draw).
Imagine the announcer at a big fight, introducing the match-up: “In this corner, coming in shades of red and white, representing the east coast of California, the underdog, Wine!” (Tim Campbell waiving from the corner, smiling knowing he has a great product in unfriendly waters) Then the drum roll begins, with Jeff Fryman walking in under thunderous applause as the announcer begins “And in this corner, the hometown favorite, the one, the only, Beer!”
Okay, so this did not really happen this way but when you came into the Common Table for the Beer vs. Wine dinner, you knew you were in for an all-out fight. Truth be told, both Tim and Jeff were very supportive of each other and as Corey, proprietor of the Common Table, said: “We are here to have fun.” Continue reading →
What is your favorite beer? That is the question I hear most often. At first, it was flattering. The people I talk to trust and respect my opinion so much that they care to know my favorite beer. Awesome. But less than a second before the question sets in, I am blank. It is hard to answer. What is your favorite movie? Well, I really think Ace Ventura is hilarious, but Taxi Driver also holds a small place in my heart, Annie Hall never skips a beat, and on and on it goes.
I cannot honestly answer. However, I am not a pompous jerk so I quickly reword their question as, ‘if I were on a deserted island and could only drink one beer for the rest of my life, what would that beer be?’ I wish you could see the blank look on my face. What an easy question… to ask. I would probably demand to know why I was being held against my will on an island that could only manage to stock one beer (even if it was one that I really liked). Continue reading →